for the love of food

Ok, so it's Friday (remember, I like to tell you guys what day it is).

So just a couple of quick things here. Number one, I like food. Number two, I like to eat. These two numbers go hand in hand. They also have a lot to do with whether I am in a good mood or a bad mood. Remember when I told you that I can't go shopping without snacks? I prefer to eat every two hours. I have to or I will faint. Dan thinks I'm lying about that. But I'm not. Or at least I never want to find out if it's true or not. Number three (so much for "a couple") ... I'm pretty freaking excited for this weekend. Because I will be going to a fair. A real live fair with real live fried food. Oh and number four ... I love fried food.

Oh and apparently I have a fifth thing to tell you all ...

I have a special little guest here today. And by "little" I mean little legs and little tummy but big ... a big blog. Get your mind out of the gutter people. She has a really big blog. A big blog that I spend a lot of time on when I should be working or cleaning or trying to get my own blog as awesome as hers. Trust me. You're gonna be hooked too. Not to mention, hooked up if you keep reading to the end (that would be a hint to read to the end) ...

Hey there kids.

My name is Erin and I blog over at Living In Yellow.

A blog that really has no point…which is why I am still trying to figure out what entices people to come back on a daily basis. On the bright side, having a blog called "Living In Yellow" totally makes me feel entitled to wear yellow pants. And that my friends is why I started blogging....

Anyhow—Tiff (aka my BFF, email confidant, and wine connoisseur side-kick) asked if I would write a post for all of you lovely readers. Okay that's a lie. I asked her. And by asked her I mean paid her money. Blogging lesson 121: You have to buy your followers. Stuff ain't free these days ya heard?

Back to this whole guest post thing though...
I know I know—guest posts suck.
But today, I am going to try my hardest to slash that whole “ewwww another guest post..catch ya later” mentality in the throat.
And what better way to do that than with humor?

Now I don’t know about you, but I love myself a good dose of humor.
My life motto is if I can laugh enough, I don’t have to actually do any physical exercise.
Wanna burn off the three donuts you just ate for breakfast? Watch The Ellen Show.
Way more beneficial than stepping foot into a gym.

So some of you may be thinking “well crap. I am not very funny…Nor do I know how to be funny on my blog.” To which I would reply “Sucks to be you”. Just kidding. Kind of.

In an effort to put those thoughts to rest though, I thought I would share a couple of ways on “How to be a funny blogger”. Let’s begin shall we?

1.   Make fun of yourself. Pretty regularly. Let’s face it—we all have flaws {unless you are Luke Bryan, Channing Tatum, and Jennifer Aniston} and there is no reason we need to hide those suckers. I look at it this way—if I don’t make fun of them, somebody else probably will. Call yourself out on the fact that you wear socks with holes, that you pee your pants in the grocery store, or that you fall down stairs when wearing heels. Moral of the story: save yourself having to punch somebody in the face for making fun of you by making fun of yourself first. Your knuckles will thank you.

2.   Write as if you are speaking face to face with somebody. My favorite blogs are the ones where I feel like I am actually conversing with them. The blogs that use slang and aren’t afraid to type like they talk. Now I don’t know about you, but I am not one to sit and have a conversation that goes a little somethin’ like “Last evening my adorable husband and I sat outside and watched in awe as the fireflies lit up the sky”. No. I would never say that. However, I would say “so the other night my husband and I watched fireflies light up the sky like a mother and it was pretty darn amazeballs”
Yup. Much more my speed.

3.   Say what is on your mind at all times. So what if you are writing a post about how much you love your cat and smack dab in the middle of writing you get a craving for mac & cheese with hot sauce on top? Throw that in there. People want to know that you aren’t only obsessed with your cat but that also love mac and cheese {like any normal human being should}. Random is good people. Remember that.

4.   Refer to items as things with feelings. This is just something I’ve always done (then again I am not the most “normal” you may say..). Let’s use your blog as an example. See how boring it was just referring to your blog as “a blog”. I like to think of mine as a girl (because she is cute. Obviously if something is cute it’s a girl). And I believe my blog likes to indulge in a drink every now and again. Let’s compare the two sentences and see which is more enjoyable to read “I am going out tonight to celebrate that my blog just turned a year old” or “My cute little blog requested that I take her out for a celebratory drink tonight for her first birthday. She may be young but she sure knows how to throw down every now and again…” You tell me which was more enjoyable.

5.   Don’t be afraid to show sarcasm. It’s the best thing since Michael Jordan left his wife for me.

6.   Use some “shock and awe” in your titles and/or posts. I don’t like boring blog titles and I don’t think blog readers do either. Instead of titling a post “We Built A Firepit” why not call it “Getting Dirty with My Husband”. Take a guess at which one will bring you more page views. Lesson to be learned: People are perverts. Use it to your advantage.

….and there you have it kitten britches {lesson number 7—refer to your readers as kitten britches}, six seven simple things to remember to make your blog posts hill rat hilarious.

Now do me a favor and stop by over here would ya?
I’d love to see your smiling faces. Or at least hear from your funny fingers.
Whatevs.

Oh hey real quick---back that blogging lesson 121...If you can't buy your followers, you may as well throw a giveaway at em'. So that's what I am doing today. With what you may ask?
A free ad space. So here's the deal--come follow me. Tell Tiff here in the comments below that you did. And then one of you will get a free ad spot on my space. Not actually myspace, but my space. As in my blog.

Got it? Good.
Peace out.

 

Alright, you heard the girl. Go on over there already.
Leave a little comment below and then win yourself a big ol' ad space.
Big as in ... oh never mind.

Giveaway ends on Wednesday at midnight.
Winner will be announced one week from today.
Good Luck!

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